Mystic Taff's season predictions

Twenty-four hours before the big kick-off and it's time I did my Mystic Meg comic turn and made my predictions as to who's going to win what in the coming season. So without further ado, here we go, here we go, here we go...

Premiership (Division One, old money): Potentially one of the most interesting season's in the top-flight we've seen for a while; at least if you look outside the top three. Man City have thrown the cat amongst the pigeons by buying everyone and his brother, Arsenal at present look vulnerable to slipping out of the top 4, Spurs and Aston Villa have both strengthened and Everton have improved every season under David Moyes. I'm letting my heart rule my head by forecasting Tottenham to finish 4th, with City, The Arse, Villa and Everton scrapping it our for the UEFA, sorry, Europa places. Liverpool will finish 3rd, with Man Utd and Chelsea steamrollering everyone else.

Champions: Chelsea
Runners-up: Manchester United
3rd: Liverpool
4th: Tottenham Hotspur
Europa League: Arsenal, Manchester City
Relegated: Burnley, Hull City, Stoke City

Championship (Division Two o.m): Toughest division of them all to call. Who last year whould have forecast Burnley to go up and the likes of Charlton, Southampton and Norwich to go down? Not me! Newcastle are bookies favourites but nobody elses, I fancy Middlesbrough to bounce back up to the Premiership alongside last season bottlers Cardiff. As for the play-offs, the likes of West Brom, Reading, and Sheffield Utd should all feature. The Geordies could do anything, depending on whether or not Mike Ashley sells the club. They might be right up there, they might do a Leeds. Fingers crossed, eh?

Champions: Middlesbrough
Runners-up: Cardiff City
Play-off winners: West Bromwich Albion
Relegated: Newcastle United, Barnsley, Swansea City

League One (Division Three o.m): Hard to look beyond the big three here: Leeds, Norwich and Charlton should dominate the division and I'd expect all three to go up, though in what order may be debatable. Southampton will have to make do with mid-table mediocrity. The mighty Glovers will continue to defy gravity by finishing 15th and having a good run in the FA Cup. Well, I can dream.

Champions: Charlton Athletic
Runners Up: Leeds United
Play-off winners: Norwich City
Relegated: Exeter City, Swindon Town, Hartlepool United, Carlisle United

League Two (Division Four o.m): Are you the conference in disguise? It's looking more and more like it these days with the likes of Burton, Dagenham, Aldershot, Cheltenham, Accrington and Macclesfield making up the numbers. Who's going to win it? Not a clue. I suppose Notts County must now be favourites, along with Northamptonand surely Bradford City must go back up at some point, so why not this season?

Champions: Northampton Town
Runners-up: Notts County
3rd place: Bradford City
Play-off winners: Rotherham
Relegated: Grimsby Town, Accrington Stanley

Conference National (vauxhall conference o.m): Luton will inevitably be favourites to bounce straight back into the football league and looking at the quality of their squad it's hard to look beyond them. And yet they won't be the first so-called 'big' club expecting to piss this tinpot league (to coin a well-known phrase) and come unstuck. As usual most of the former league clubs will hope to challenge but I have a sneaking suspicion that another club yet to play in the football league may well surprise everyone this season by sneaking in via the play-offs: The question is are the rest of the football league ready for destiny to take over? Step forward Graham Westley and the DCB's aka Stevenage Borough.

Champions: Luton Town
Play-off winners: Stevenage Borough
Relegated: Salisbury, Eastbourne Borough, Ebbsfleet, Chester City.

Just a bit of fun anyway but of course if I do turn out to be right and by some miracle someone reading this has taken my predictions and put a couple of quid on an accumulator that turns out to win thousands then you will remember where you heard it first, won't you? Please?!

Talking of betting I'm going to be reprising a feature I used to include on the Ciderspace news page when I was co-editing the site. Again, just for a bit of fun I'm going to put a fiver on what I consider to be the most likely result concerning the Glovers whenever we play and keep a running total throughout the season. For tomorrow's game I'm going for a home win at 6/4 paying out a total of £12.50p. Come on you greens!