Snow joke for anyone

So much for global warming. It's now officially the coldest winter for 30 years. We've already had one game postponed (Leyton Orient away, last Saturday) because of the cold, and with temperatures forecast to stay below zero for the rest of the week and snow forecast for tonight, tomorrow and the weekend the chances of Saturday's home game against Colchester taking place are negligible.

Still, never mind. Next winter we won't have these problems as the football league, in it's infinite wisdom, is insisting that all member clubs must provide a set of pitch frost covers and/or undersoil heating to prevent the postponement of games due to a little bit of snow and ice. I'm not sure how much a set of frost covers will cost but presumably it will be a fair wedge, otherwise most clubs would surely have already invested in them. Added to that I always thought that global warming meant that we'd be enjoying a Mediterranean-type climate in this country in years to come, enabling us to grow grapes on the slopes of Ben Nevis and go on our summer holidays to Cleethorpes and that kind of thing; which would make frost covers somewhat superfluous one would have thought, but obviously the football league know better. Anyway, judging by the amount of snow forecast for Somerset over the next few days then it's not so much frost covers that the club needs as a roof over the entire stadium. And even then the match would still be called off as the surroundings to the ground would be considered too dangerous even for consenting adults by the health and safety junta. Perhaps the club should consider the possibility of building a dome over the ground and the surrounding area, taking a leaf from the latest Stephen King book or more precisely The Simpsons Movie. If they do then I'd be very grateful if they would make it a couple of hundred yards bigger than necessary to include my humble abode. At least I might be able to get into my bloody back garden then.

So, goodbye and good luck Andy Lindegaard and George O'Callaghan. In my new version of Football Manager 10 O'Callaghan is a pretty useful box-to-box midfielder with above average stamina and strength who weighs in with a goal every 4-5 games and averages 7.something per game and is one of the mainstays of my currently 5th-placed Yeovil side (it's November in the 1st season in my alternative universe). In real life O'Callaghan was, well, none of the above unfortunately. Sadly, he tended to flatter to deceive somewhat, passed the ball sideways or backwards a lot, never really showed any signs of strength or stamina and didn't trouble the scorers once, to throw in a cricketing term. In contrast the makers of FM10 got it pretty much spot on where Lindy was concerned. He began my game in the reserves and even when given a chance in the first team never did anything to justify a regular place in the matchday squad - just like in real life, sadly again. I say sadly because Lindy is something of a Yeovil legend as far as I'm concerned. A genuinely local lad who came up through the youth team and the reserves in the Western League to become a first team regular, firstly in the Conference and then in the football league, right up to being an important part of the team who played and beat Nottingham Forest at the City Ground in that never to be forgotten play-off semi-final. I said at the time he re-signed for us that it was hard to understand why he came back with the likes of Craig Alcock, Danny Hutchins and Scott Murray all ahead of him in the pecking order, and in the event a record of 2 starts and 3 substitute appearances and only featuring once on the bench since the start of November tells its own story. It kind of begs the question why exactly he was offered another contract when nothing had changed, but all credit to him for recognising the hard facts of his situation and choosing to look for a new club where he can play some football in front of a crowd rather than exclusively on the training pitch in front of no-one. The best of luck to both players in the future but especially to Lindy - still a something of a legend in my eyes, even if he should never have come back.

Just read: The Burning Land by Bernard Cornwell: The 5th book in the 'Saxon' series of historical novels, following the fortunes of Uhtred of Bebbanburg; a Danish warrior in the service of the man who would come to be known as Alfred the Great. If you've read any of the author's historical fiction then you'll know what to expect. Blood, guts, swords, spears and shield-walls in a land where man were men and women were chattel, unless they were the king's daughter in which case they had their own armour and people did what she told them to do. Cornwell does this kind of thing very well and The Burning Land is a good read, but to my mind nowhere near as involving as his excellent 'Warlord' trilogy or indeed last year's 'Azincourt', a fictional account of the events leading up to the famous battle of of 1415. The Burning Land, in contrast, is Cornwell-lite, but still worth a few hours of anyone's time for all that.